Babylon Bee (Satire)

DOJ Warns If Trump Is Elected He Will Do To Them All The Stuff They're Doing To Him

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Officials from the Department of Justice issued a public warning that, if Donald Trump is elected, he will do to them all of the stuff they're currently doing to him.

Posted on 14 September 2024 | 9:51 pm

Blast From The Past: Remember That 'Joe' Guy? Whatever Happened To Him Anyway?

Do you remember that "Joe Biden" guy from a while back that everyone was talking about? The one who always mumbled funny words and said kind of racist stuff, but he was so old that everyone just sort of let it go? It's like he just completely disappeared. One day he was famous, always in the news, and then the next -- poof!

Posted on 14 September 2024 | 5:44 pm

Home Depot Introduces 'Shame Alarm' That Blares If A Man Asks An Employee For Help

HOUSTON, TX — The Home Depot has just announced a brand new "Alarm of Shame," which will be standard in all Home Depot locations by next week. The Alarm of Shame is meant to improve customer satisfaction and self-confidence by loudly blaring every time any so-called "man" asks an employee for help.

Posted on 14 September 2024 | 2:23 pm

Pope Challenges Jesus To Debate On Whether All Religions Lead To God

ROME — Sources close to Pope Francis confirmed that the 87-year-old Bishop of Rome has just challenged Jesus Christ to a debate on how people can get to heaven.

Posted on 14 September 2024 | 12:33 pm