Babylon Bee (Satire)

Biden Visits Border To Cut Ribbon For Official Border Grand Opening

BROWNSVILLE, TX — In a long-awaited move expected to generate some attention, President Joe Biden arrived at the southern U.S. border today to cut the ribbon for its official Grand Opening.

Posted on 29 February 2024 | 7:05 pm

Ballot Drop Boxes Installed Along Border Wall

BROWNSVILLE, TX — Texas residents woke up Thursday morning to find general election ballot boxes had been placed along the southern border wall that divides parts of the U.S. from Mexico.

Posted on 29 February 2024 | 4:27 pm

Mayor Who Advertised City As Sanctuary For Criminals Perplexed Over Large Number Of Criminals

ATHENS, GA — According to sources, the Athens Mayor who advertised the city as a sanctuary for criminals is perplexed over the large number of criminals roaming the streets.

Posted on 29 February 2024 | 3:28 pm

Kid Who Got Distracted For A Few Seconds One Time Prescribed Adderall

ALBUQUERQUE, NM — Sources report local second-grader Max Holbrook drifted off for a few seconds in school last week during class and was immediately prescribed Adderall to keep him on track.

Posted on 29 February 2024 | 2:43 pm

We Asked 11 Famous Politicians What Their Favorite Bible Verse Was, And Here's What They Said

As believers, it's always comforting to know that your elected officials have a deep knowledge and affection for the Bible. Learning the favorite scripture verses of your leaders can provide insight into their lives and the values they hold dear.

Posted on 29 February 2024 | 1:57 pm

James O'Keefe Infiltrates Woke Daycares By Disguising Self As Baby

NEW YORK, NY — Whether he's putting on a beanie and pretending to be a gym rat or putting on a false nose and glasses and pretending to be gay, James O'Keefe is a true master of disguise.

Posted on 29 February 2024 | 1:13 pm

Biden Arrives At Border To Address His Voters

BROWNSVILLE, TX — Amid record-breaking illegal immigration at the southern border, President Biden arrived in Brownsville Texas to address his voters, who had crossed into the United States the previous night.

Posted on 29 February 2024 | 12:08 pm