MOBILE, AL — Local underperforming Christian Jason Bingham continued his lukewarm ways today, settling for attending the Third Baptist Church of Mobile.
Posted on 6 May 2026 | 3:23 pm
What a culture finds appealing in the opposite sex can evolve over time. So we polled 100 different women to see what they considered the most attractive quality in a man — and the answer may surprise you.
Posted on 6 May 2026 | 2:53 pm
SAN FRANCISCO, CA — With less than six months to go before residents vote to elect the state's next leader, the latest polls showed that a turd on a San Francisco sidewalk was now in second place to become California's governor.
Posted on 6 May 2026 | 12:45 pm
SOUTH CARIBBEAN — A couple trapped on a hantavirus-infected cruise ship reportedly have declined to be rescued by a nearby Carnival cruise, saying they'd rather take their chances with hantavirus instead.
Posted on 6 May 2026 | 12:12 pm
MONTEREY PARK, CA — A heated debate between the candidates for governor of California descended into mayhem last night after Katie Porter dumped an entire pot of scalding mashed potatoes on the moderators' heads.
Posted on 6 May 2026 | 11:40 am
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a landmark decision to compensate for what was described as "mistreatment" he suffered in jail, would-be assassin Cole Allen was granted one more chance to try to kill President Donald Trump.
Posted on 5 May 2026 | 4:54 pm
U.S. — Members of the Democratic Party from across the nation issued a statement clarifying that everyone is an evil Nazi except that one guy running for Senate in Maine who has a Nazi tattoo.
Posted on 5 May 2026 | 4:32 pm
President Donald Trump announced this week that he was reinstating the Presidential Fitness Test to evaluate the physical health of America's public school students.
Posted on 5 May 2026 | 3:35 pm
EAST OF EDEN — After discovering the horrific murder of their son Abel, Adam and Eve sat down to compile a comprehensive list of possible suspects.
Posted on 5 May 2026 | 2:03 pm
SPRINGFIELD, IL — Local parents Mark and Jenna Wilkins spent the day eagerly waiting to find out what grade they received on their daughter Addison's third-grade science project.
Posted on 5 May 2026 | 1:20 pm
NEW YORK, NY — The fashion world was in turmoil this morning after it was revealed that a hobo with a garbage can stuck on his head who wandered onto the red carpet was mistaken for a Met Gala attendee.
Posted on 5 May 2026 | 12:52 pm
SAN FRANCISCO, CA — Reports today indicated that a lousy, no good excuse for a Bluesky user has not even made one single attempt to assassinate President Donald Trump.
Posted on 5 May 2026 | 12:16 pm