U.S. — Editorial sources at the Discovery Channel recently confirmed that Mike Rowe was out of a job again, as a new season of the series Dirty Jobs will be hosted by none other than former President Donald Trump.
Posted on 21 October 2024 | 5:53 pm
PHILADELPHIA, PA — In an incident that overshadowed the smashing success of Donald Trump's appearance at a local McDonald's yesterday, a would-be assassin was reportedly found hiding in the restaurant's PlayPlace.
Posted on 21 October 2024 | 5:49 pm
GREEN BAY, WI — Disaster struck at a recent Harris-Walz rally after Tim Walz's wild, erratic arms movements inadvertently signaled a Boeing 747 to land in the middle of the crowd.
Posted on 21 October 2024 | 5:11 pm
Everyone knows there's no more efficient organization than the United States government. Everything they touch flourishes and succeeds.
Posted on 21 October 2024 | 4:14 pm
U.S. — Churches and other faith-based organizations across the country reported a sudden rise in people questioning their deeply held beliefs after the New York Yankees and Los Angeles Dodgers advanced to the World Series.
Posted on 21 October 2024 | 3:09 pm
NEW YORK, NY — A great moment in both television history and the advancement of women occurred today, as producers of ABC's long-tenured daytime talk show The View welcomed a sixth woman to the cast.
Posted on 21 October 2024 | 2:07 pm
LANCASTER, PA — In response to the popular reception former President Donald Trump received while working at a Philadelphia area McDonald's over the weekend, a desperate Kamala Harris ordered her campaign staff to plan a photo op at a local Long John Silver's.
Posted on 21 October 2024 | 1:32 pm
U.S. — Democratic Party leaders received yet another piece of bad news with the presidential election just over two weeks away, as they learned that even Dominion voting machines were now refusing to vote for Kamala Harris.
Posted on 21 October 2024 | 11:52 am
PHILADELPHIA, PA — Former President Trump has been forced to cancel all of his rallies for the next two weeks after his request to take time off was denied by Brad Norris, his manager at McDonald's.
Posted on 20 October 2024 | 8:36 pm
PHILADELPHIA, PA — Minutes into working his first shift, President Trump has vowed to bring back all of the super cool Happy Meal toys that McDonald's once handed out to children.
Posted on 20 October 2024 | 3:38 pm
DETROIT, MI — Sources within the fundraising wing of the Trump campaign report that they recently raised several million dollars in fewer than 12 hours after Trump introduced the new catchphrase "How much would you pay not to hear Kamala talk?"
Posted on 20 October 2024 | 11:57 am
HOUSTON, TX — Eyewitnesses at Lakewood Church reported that a congregant who shouted "Jesus is Lord" during a morning service was quickly told by Joel Osteen "I think you're at the wrong church."
Posted on 20 October 2024 | 11:27 am
LONDON — British police continued to uphold law and order in the United Kingdom by arresting a praying mantis for disturbing the peace with public prayer.
Posted on 20 October 2024 | 11:07 am