Babylon Bee (Satire)

Aw, Man: Columbia Student Just Graduated With DEI Degree

NEW YORK CITY — Prospects have dimmed considerably for local woman Violet Weber, who just graduated in December from Columbia with a degree in Diversity, Equity and Inclusion Studies.

Posted on 23 January 2025 | 12:18 pm

Late-Night Comedians Excited They Can Make Jokes About The President Again

U.S. — Late-night comedy made a stunning return to form Monday following the inauguration of President Trump with hosts reportedly excited they can now make jokes about the president again.

Posted on 23 January 2025 | 11:58 am

12 Horrifying Nazi Symbols From Trump's Inauguration

In case you haven't heard, the United States is now obviously run by Nazis. How obvious, you ask? If you look at President Donald Trump's inauguration yesterday, the signs were everywhere.

Posted on 23 January 2025 | 10:38 am

Fire Survivors Drive Back Toward Flames After Hearing Kamala Speak

LOS ANGELES, CA — After briefly listening to former Vice President Kamala Harris speak, survivors of the Los Angeles fires hopped back in their cars and drove directly into the flames.

Posted on 22 January 2025 | 4:46 pm

Liberals Briefly Pause Chanting ‘Death To Israel’ To Call Elon Musk A Nazi

U.S. — With the uproar over President Donald Trump returning to the White House with a flurry of sweeping actions, the nation's liberals took a brief pause in their standard daily routine of chanting "Death to Israel" so they could call Elon Musk a Nazi.

Posted on 22 January 2025 | 4:24 pm

Sad Hunter Biden Wondering Why No One Buying His Paintings Anymore

MALIBU, CA — Hunter Biden looked visibly troubled this week as sales for his paintings plummeted by approximately 100%.

Posted on 22 January 2025 | 2:33 pm

Coast Guard Rescue Swimmer Disappointed He Can No Longer Work From Home

SAN DIEGO, CA — As President Trump issued an order requiring all government employees to return to work in person, one rescue swimmer for the United States Coast Guard expressed disappointment that he could no longer work from home.

Posted on 22 January 2025 | 1:45 pm

Girl Hobbit Refuses to Date Any Hobbit Under 4 Feet

WAYMOOT, THE SHIRE — Local girl hobbit Daisy Stumpfoot has very high standards: she refuses to date any boy hobbit under four feet.

Posted on 22 January 2025 | 1:07 pm

Heroic Woman Proves Once And For All Why Only Men Should Be Pastors

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The debate over whether women should be allowed as pastors has been settled once and for all, thanks to the heroic efforts of the National Cathedral's lady Bishop Mariann Budde.

Posted on 22 January 2025 | 12:32 pm

EXCLUSIVE: The Babylon Bee Has Obtained A Picture Of The Note Biden Left For Trump

In another incredible exclusive scoop, the Babylon Bee investigative team has obtained a picture of the note Biden left for President Trump in the Oval Office. Many air vents were crawled through to capture this remarkable image.

Posted on 22 January 2025 | 11:54 am